Some days the unfairness of things just overwhelms me. Today was one of those days. It really bothers me that this is always with me. After all, the idea of fairness in these matters is delusional thinking. Besides, if it were about fairness, in so many ways I've been given way more than my share. How I wish I could just right-click and delete that file - and the other files of negative thought. Yet they too are part of me and my story. No, I'm not going to blather on again. I've done that a million times - there's nothing new to say. It just hurts. It hurts so very much.
Oh, but I am also thankful.
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| Week 14 of Photo 52: Hands |
I sometimes fear what a disappointment I must be to R. Yet strangely, all evidence points to the contrary. Today he even told me how proud he is of me - that he knows from me that being strong doesn't mean never crying, never being hurt - and that it doesn't mean not falling down. He's proud because I always get back up and keep going, and because I continue to care despite the hurt. How strange is that?
Yeah, if life were about fairness, it sure worked in my favor - in a big way - in this regard.
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| Week 15 of Photo 52: Silhouette |
He even willingly tromps around town with me, helping me with my photography themes. Here he is doing a victory fist pump after I told him I think I got the money shot - then I snapped his fist pump and realized that it totally trumped my original money shot. He's the best!
Life isn't about fairness, and it doesn't necessarily go the way we want. Sometimes that works in our favor; sometimes it doesn't. Though my heart feels otherwise, it's okay. At least it'll be okay. Perhaps this too shall not pass, but it will not go unredeemed.
Life breaks and falls apart,
But we know these are
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing.
It may be unfulfilled;
It may be unrestored;
But when anything that’s shattered is laid before the Lord,
Just watch and see –
It will not be unredeemed.
(Selah)
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