Catching up

It's been about a month since I posted here. My work-life balance has been a bit out of whack lately. At work I've been short-staffed and had another work trip in there (to Miami!) - and have just had to put in a lot of extra hours overall. My weekends have also been completely packed. This past weekend was the first weekend that I was in town and had nothing planned - how luxurious!

Happy flower! 

The only thing I really have NEW to report on is that I've achieved my first weight loss goal - a small goal: 5% body weight lost. (New number 28.) It's important that I get back on the right track with my weight, but it's also important to me that I do it in a sane and healthy way, so it's pretty slow going. It feels really good to get back on a right track in that way, like I have some level of moderate control in my life. There's a long way to go still, but 5% is a good start and I'll take it!

In sort of related news, I'd gotten a bit behind on my photo challenge. Though I'm a bit out of order in the posting of photos on my blog, I think I'm caught up now. Last week's theme was "cinco" - I hadn't thought I had anything to write about related to cinco, but I just realized that 5% is cinco percent, so that ties in nicely!

Week 19 of Photo 52: Cinco

What do colored pencils have to do with anything? They're super cool colored pencils, that's what! Aren't they fun?

Let's see, what else?  I also went to my wonderful little niece's dance recital. It was the first one I got to ever go to, and because of distance and scheduling conflicts it took a bit of finagling for me to get there. She is worth it! She is really, really good! No, I'm not biased - she really is!! She's the one that always moves to front and center - and all the other girls follow her lead. She's something, I tell ya! I daresay she did not get any of her talent or athleticism from her old auntie Heather, but she sure gets a lot of adoration from her auntie!

Week 17 of Photo 52: Moment to Remember

So this photo is her and my big bro. They performed a daddy/daughter dance - a pretty fancy one, I might add. I'll admit that my bro did a great job!. It was the sweetest thing!! Unfortunately, cameras weren't allowed during the performances, so I got this afterward when she was famished and exhausted. Wish I'd have gotten a more perfect shot, but I kinda think it's perfect anyhow.

I sure do love my niblings!!

There's something else I must admit.... watching all the daddies and daughters dancing was nearly the end of me. It was so very sweet and oh so very painful. Oh how I long to see R up there with our little girl, dancing to those precious, heart-wrenching daddy/daughter type songs....

It's hard to manage that so many moments of utter sweetness and joy are tainted by childless anxiety and grief.

Yet life goes on.

Speaking of childless grief, yesterday was Mother's Day. Would it surprise you to hear that this is one of my least favorite times of year - ever?  It's not that I'm a total jerk - I appreciate my mom, and I appreciate moms in general. Some of my favorite people are moms. In fact, if you haven't noticed, I'd sure like to be one. Yeah, Mother's Day is a real landmine to the IFer, I tell ya. Typically, I ignore it and stay silent - and in, if at all possible. I never want to rain on anyone's parade, after all, and I also don't want to expose myself to more pain than is necessary. Therefore, burrowing in has always been a good option.

However, this year was not as bad because several people - many not at all IF related - acknowledged and empathized with the extra grief that this holiday time can bring to some. That was new, surprising, and so appreciated! Empathy really goes a long way, don't ya know?

Also, R was home this weekend - he only worked on Saturday morning. Despite the accompanying sadness, R and I had a really wonderful weekend together. As mentioned, I always stay in on Mother's Day weekend because of all the understandable and well-deserved revelry. Not this year.

New number 29 was embracing life - pain and all - instead of hiding on Mother's Day. Instead of hiding, this year R made a nice breakfast at home and then we headed out for a nice, long walk on the river, drove around the countryside, and then dined on a rooftop patio overlooking the St. Croix.

Here I am looking every second of my age and heartbreak, but it also shows a bit of the rooftop dining. I should have gotten a better shot of that.

Prosciutto Crostini

It was a sad, but lovely day together! More juxtaposition. It's the theme of the year.

As a bonus, there were a few beauties to capture with my camera. This little guy sure captivated me to no end. He didn't like to sit still for long at all, but I finally got a pretty decent shot of him here.

Hmm, I just realized that my last comment could apply to both the photo of the gorgeous and charming R just above, and Mr. Birdie below... but I was actually referring to Mr. Yellow Birdie.

They sure are a couple cuties, aren't they?

Yep, still talking about the birds, but it still also applies to R.

So that's that. A couple of new things and a lot of extreme busyness. Maybe there were other new things in there that I don't even remember... hmm.  Anyhow, today I got the good news that the candidate I selected accepted our job offer, so hopefully work will calm down soon. (Though busy is preferable, sane would be nice.) And hopefully there will be more relaxing weekends ahead too... I could use a season of rest. 2014 so far has been a pretty wild ride - for better and for worse.

And above all, God is good and Life is good. Though it includes a lot of seemingly unnecessary pain, it is still good. Broken is not destroyed, and Life longs to live.