This photo of me going through the first customs check point about sums up how I've been feeling lately.
Besides those two biggie things, I also survived another childless mother's day, bocce league season started, R's daughter announced she's getting married, I had R for three wonderful weekends in a row, and we bought night stands. (I've always used TV tables for night stands before, so this was pretty exciting.)
So yeah - all in all, kind of a lot has been happening: some lovely and some awful.
I wondered today when will life stop bringing difficulties - can't we just get the lovely?
Then I remembered, it won't. Not this side of Heaven, anyhow. It's part of the deal in this fallen world.
I rather wish it would though, as it's exhausting - but I guess we seize the magical moments when they come and learn to be satisfied in them, and derive much needed refreshment. Ohhh yes! I'm so grateful for the lovely!
Speaking of lovely: camp... I've mentioned my camp many times. There's an event there this coming weekend. I've been adamant about not going, though I probably will. It's odd to me how much I don't want to go, as I'm crazy for going to anything for camp! A lot of my friends are coming to this one, apparently. They and their families. They're all so excited about bringing their families and hanging out with each others' families... almost all of them have multiple kiddies and this particular camp event is indeed very family oriented. As for me, I feel, as I almost always do, the outsider. I keep having dreams how my dearest friends hate me now. And I know I'm not fun anymore. Why would they even want me there - me, the big old ugly bag of mostly water. (Sorry, that's a Star Trek reference that always cracks me up. Besides, I'm mostly Diet Pepsi, anyhow...) Anyhow, it's true - what shall I do? Play paintball? Please!
Yet this is camp. CAMP!!! We're talking camp and some of my oldest and dearest.
Infertility is trying to steal this too from me. And I want to give in. I have good excuses: it's a six-hour drive, work is so crazy, I've been gone a lot lately, I don't want to spend more money... I can think of more. The truth: infertility wants to steal it from me. I just don't feel like I have the fight in me anymore. Can't I just give in for once?
Oh, hello love! I'm glad for all of the lovely, and I'm envious of the nightstands. I have never had any. Is it possible I can help you with the camp question? My camp is having a reunion next weekend. I loved camp, and I love the people, but I can't figure out why on earth I would take my family there. For them it would be completely awkward, and I just can't. So, I think that having a you there would be a wonderful thing--and if there were a you in my camp people, I think she would be just the safe person that I would enjoy introducing to my family if I managed to gather the courage to take them. Of course, your peoples' kids may be younger and blend easily with whoever is around, but whew, all those inside jokes and stories and stuff. That's a lot to ask a family to endure, it just doesn't translate that well. That's just us. I say that you would be the insidiest of all the insiders. And probably one of the most fun. (I think you are not noticing what is happening to all those other people. They are also aging.) However, if you really want to give in for once, do that for yourself. I am.
ReplyDeleteCamp is not camp without you. When I think about my years and years at camp, YOU are the constant. Your smile, your infectious laugh, your kind heart and your courage.You will NEVER be an outsider. You are camp Heath, camp would have never been camp without you. Do you need a place to stay? I'm 15 minutes from camp. Stay with us. ♥♥
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