Something sprung, alright!

"The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created Spring." (Bern Williams)

It has been gorgeous here these last several days. I was able to get some patio time in today and yesterday - in the middle of March!! Wow - loving it!!

Well - unto blog writing. I've been trying to write another post for the last couple weeks, but my brain has not been very quiet - until it's time for it to be. Then it goes blank. I'm sitting in a different place than I normally do, right now - trying to bring some focus to my varied thoughts of late, So here goes! 

Okay, so one thing I've been puzzled by lately is the subject of childless mothers. I don't mean people who are working on becoming mothers - or who seem like they should be mothers. See, I found this blogger, who is also childless after infertility, and much of what she says so completely resonates with me. It feels wonderful to think someone gets it. However, lately all she seems to be writing about is how she's a mother anyhow... and she has guest bloggers who've written posts about being mothers despite their childlessness. I kind of feel that this is hooey!  

Honestly, I don't get this "I'm a mother" jazz...  I'm not, and I have to deal with that. I can love the children in my life - and I think you know how I adore my niblings - and I can nurture in many different ways, but I'm not a mother. It feels delusional to me. It's disappointing. 

Or maybe I'm just not that developed... maybe I'm missing something. Seems to me it's best to make the best of our reality - and give it to God. 

So now it seems this blogger just wants to talk about how she is a mother anyhow - along with selling some health product and promoting her second book. Sigh.  

It makes me start to wonder if IF resulting in childlessness makes people completely batty. 

Hmm. I wonder if I've had enough exposure to battiness in my life that perhaps I'm immune?

Ah well. Also, there is so much pregnancy around me again that it's almost ridiculous. It's impossible to try to forget one's situation when that's pretty much what all the talk is at work. Work shmerk! Let's talk about reproduction non-stop and walk around patting our ginormous beach ball bellies in Heather's face. Sorry, but it does feel like that.  

I still have to slip away during all the social events because all any of them want to talk about is the pregnancies and the babies and/or when their kids were young.  It happens at the beginning and end of meetings too, but I usually can't slip out of those....   ARGGHHHH!!!  So much fertility and baby and toddlerdom. It almost seems statistically impossible that there is as much as there is around me, but you know what they say about statistics: 89% of them are completely made up. 

So, of course I've avoided all workplace baby showers for years. I absolutely have to avoid them - contribute a bit of my cash, then find some excuse to not be there.... In fairness, none of them are for people I'm close with - and there's no reason to ruin it for them and torture myself. I'm supposed to have my game face on in the office - and never show a negative emotion - after all, so - it's one or the other.

However, I'm contemplating going to my first baby shower in many years - it is not for an office person. It's also out of state and may not even be feasible - but - it's literally the very first one I've actually considered going to in many years now. I'm finding myself somewhat proud of myself for even being able to consider it. That's gotta be some kind of progress, right?

Yeah, my future's so bright, I gotta wear shades!  

Well, I have no idea what the future holds, of course, but this much I know for sure:

Through many dangers, toils and snares,

I have already come;

’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me,

His Word my hope secures;

He will my Shield and Portion be,

As long as life endures.

Well, I actually rambled quite a few other things into this post, but I pulled them out and saved them for upcoming posts. It seems it was good for me to move to a different location and just let loose. 

As always, thank you my lovely and cherished readers for being there on the other side of my screen, caring about my ramblings. 

With love, 

HJ