Finding me

New 27b: Taking another step in appreciation and awareness of my Twin Cities - and on a much lighter, more frivolous level - I decided to become a tourist in Minneapolis. My friend E wanted to go to the Secret Garden flower show downtown - I was game. We weren't meeting until 5:15 or so, but I got to hankering for more New, so I decided to head down a few hours early and tourist about.

It's sad that after 18 years here (wow - 18, really?) there's so much I've never done - like, um - almost everything. Well, yesterday, I still may not have done much, but I enjoyed the downtown city life - just because! (Usually I'm only downtown for an annual work meeting.) Exploring more is definitely in order!

Sadly, I'd forgotten to bring my beret...

 As I wandered around, I enjoyed many lovely city sights...

...a beautiful blue sky,

Week 18 of Photo 52: Photographer's Whim

and some unexpected tunes!

I even picked up one of R's favorite treats - fresh Chicago Mix popcorn from Candy Land!

Somehow, amazingly, I managed to resist buying myself a treat.

Week 16 of Photo 52: Through the Window

Then onto the Secret Garden... which was pretty amazing to behold!

Full of floral memories...   

Is it just me, or do certain flowers, like songs, always remind you of someone you love? 

Amaryllis remind me of my dad. 

My dad and his love for me 

- his generosity of spirit and his love for the art of growing - 

for beauty. 

And for his hopes and dreams of the future he didn't quite get, as he also left far too young.

I do love Amaryllis!

Daffodils! 

Daffodils remind me of R. 

It's funny, I see my dad's generous love and hope for life

 - and appreciation of nature -

in my husband. 

On the surface, you wouldn't think they were similar - and there are many differences, of course, 

but many of their basic values - and their optimism - are very similar. 

R and I wouldn't be together today if it weren't for Daffodils. 

That may be slightly dramatized, 

but only slightly... 

Realistically, it could have been roses or an apple or a stolen hotel pen, 

that became lovely perseverance, understanding, and tenderness in R's hands, 

but the fact is - it was Daffodils.

Lucky Daffodils! 

I sure do love Daffodils!

 Perhaps needless to say, the aroma in this Secret Garden was so gorgeous and lavish!

 Mmm, smells like spring! 

It was so lovely an aroma,

That I even installed a new app on my blog so you all can enjoy the scent with me.

Go ahead - try it! Just scratch and sniff the tulips above!

Mmm, nice, isn't it?

For some, finding themselves takes much time and effort.
For me, I just needed to go to the Secret Garden.
Who knew it was so easy to find oneself?

Ah yes, it was a fun day, filled with lots of good walking in the fresh air and sunshine - and lots of beauty. 

It should come as no surprise that once I got home, I slept like a rock...

Yup, I enjoyed New number 27 very much - parts a and b.

The world as best as I can remember it

"In the end it won't matter if you have a few scars...

...but it will matter if you didn't live." (Rich Mullins)

New 27a: A couple weeks ago my friend V and I went to a church in Minneapolis to see the independent film about the life of Rich Mullins, "Ragamuffin." Rich, as you are likely to know if you've known me and/or my blogs for very long, has long been my favorite music artist - whose words and legacy continue to deeply affect my life.

"Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved - and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken..." (Rich Mullins)

The movie was beautiful! It was so well done, and so true to life - portraying Rich as the ragamuffin he was... a man of incredible musical talent - with a love for God... a man who seemed to so truly seek to know and to love like Jesus. A man who knew the depths of his own loneliness, brokenness, and depravity - and the depths of God's love and grace.

It was hard not to sing along the whole way. (According to V, I did... oops!) It was so hard to see the end, though I knew it was coming, of course. And it was hard to not think of my friend Adam, who introduced me to Rich so many years ago... They both left us far too young - they are both so very missed.

"...All I really need to know 

Is if You who live in eternity

Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time 

We can't see what's ahead 

And we can not get free of what we've left behind

I'm reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears 

All the words of shame and doubt, blame and regret I can't see how

You're leading me unless 

You've led me here 

Where I'm lost enough to let myself be led 

And so You've been here all along I guess...."

(Hard to Get by Rich Mullins)

It took a while to write of this one because - I don't know - it just really hit me that hard. The emotions that are intertwined with Adam, the loss of Adam and of Rich, the content itself - of a broken man - and the reckless raging fury - that they call the love of God.

"There's a wideness in God's mercy 

I cannot find in my own 

And He keeps His fire burning 

To melt this heart of stone 

Keeps me aching with a yearning 

Keeps me glad to have been caught 

In the reckless raging fury 

That they call the love of God "
(The Love of God, by Rich Mullins)

Even though I have long loved Rich and would have always gone to see this - if I'd known of it - I'm counting this as a New because I am seeking to have a greater appreciation and awareness of what the Twin Cities - my cities of choice - offers. A big part of that really is the awareness part, which I'm often lacking.

I'm thankful that I became aware of my need to be more aware in time for the Ragamuffin movie.

27b will come tomorrow. 

Details, details...

Love is in the details.

In so many ways, love is in the details.

In my marriage, I love to tend to the details. By no stretch of the imagination am I perfect at this, but it is something I try to focus on. Sometimes this means perfecting dishes that R grew up on and treasures - though they were not previously an interest of mine, sometimes it's learning when to go on - and when to just let be, sometimes it's making the bed - though I prefer to snuggle back into it exactly the way I left it that morning. He more than reciprocates, and it's a lovely thing.

So when the Photo 52 theme of week 12 was details, the photo soon revealed itself because love is in the details. It's easy to say those three little words, and I'm a big fan of saying and hearing them, but really showing them is in the details... those thoughtful gestures that show we understand and we care. They seem all the more generous when we're tired or stressed out.

Week 12 of Photo 52: Details

Yeah, I kinda love that love is in the details. May we never grow lazy in our loves.

Really, so much of life is in the details, as well. That's the beauty of photography - and Photo 52. Seeking the details - no matter what the theme of the week is.

Speaking of details... New Number 26: I applied for a work committee - the kind for which you have to complete an application and submit a resume to be considered. It's a committee that only those with certain credentials can join. I'm not very career minded - never have been. Normally things like applying to committees are not details I mind very much. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with working and I like to help people and do good. If I can get paid to help people, all the better! It's a good thing! Still, I'm not career minded... I wanted to be a mom. More than likely, I would have still worked outside the home, at least part time, but that's where my heart has been for a long time.

Of course I've still done a good job always, minding the details of my position very well - even through so much sadness, pain, and brokenness - but haven't been super keen on really pushing myself further.

Lately I've found myself pushing myself a bit more. Is it because I'm feeling stronger, or because I've just had to accept that my dreams are not going to come true? I'm not sure, but I applied and was accepted for this committee. Applying has been an option for me before, but I never considered it. It's kind of cool that I was accepted. My boss really likes it, in any case. She was also quite complimentary of me the other day, regarding some other leadership issues, as well. She feels like I've grown a lot in that area this last six or seven months - much of what she was referring to was minding some important details. It was nice to hear, but kind of strange too. It's still not where my heart is.

Week 13 of Photo 52: Photographer's Prerogative

The human heart can hold so many conflicting emotions: see Juxta girl for more details on this.

Well, bittersweet or not, it seems that pushing forward in these somewhat above-and-beyond details of my work reinforces that maybe I'm growing a little stronger.

There are things in life that are unchangeable: get busy living, or get busy dying.

And all that jazz.

Sprung

The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created Spring. (Bern Williams)

Thursday was the first day of SPRING!!! It brought with it NEW number 25, which was a right and proper celebration of Spring!  I've seriously never been this outwardly exuberant about Spring before. I haven't been able to keep still - and I even planned a Happy Spring get-together. It might be weak, but I say it counts as New!

A little exclamation of praise! 

A few dance moves! 

And a delicious celebratory meal! 

It doesn't matter what it looks like outside because it - is - SPRING!!
And Spring is worthy of celebration! 

(This was taken in Florida -  not in Minnesota... it's not that Springy yet!) 

No matter how brutal the winter within and without may be, Spring will always come!

Still... even it it didn't, it would be okay.

But I'm still glad that it will! 

Streams of consciousness...

I'm not sure why I keep writing. I keep thinking maybe it's time to stop. No one benefits from anything I write, which is basically a lot of whining about how unfair life can be - no one needs that. Maybe it helps me still to have an outlet, but I don't even know if that's true. Granted, the point is more that I focus on the moving forward, but I know with absolute certainty that my heart, though chock-full of love, will never be past the love that it can never hold.

Yes - I'm resilient, yes - I'll keep moving forward, and yes - I'll know happiness and joy and love. Yet this is a blessing and a curse: I do not have a heart that forgets.

Very recently another, of many, Facebook things has been going around about how motherhood makes one whole. Now, fear not for me - I think that is a huge load of bunk!! I always have thought that sort of thing was bunk - whether about marriage or motherhood - or whatever, but those are the two biggies I hear. It is only God who makes me whole. God made me, and He made me whole - not perfect, but whole.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) 

Marriage couldn't have made me any more whole, and motherhood also could not make me more whole, because one can't be more whole than whole. Yet I worry for the wives and mothers who don't understand that they don't need others to make them whole, and I especially fear for those who are single- and/or childless- not-by-choice who don't understand that... who are waiting to be made whole, waiting for something that may or may not happen - so they can feel whole.

Please don't believe the lie!  Our lack of __________ does not make us incomplete!

That doesn't mean my heart is less broken. That doesn't make the grief less. After all, I fiercely love children I will never - ever - have, all while still praying and hoping against all hope that maybe just maybe a miracle will still happen. 

Ugh.

Anyhow, it just means that my wholeness as a person does not rely on anyone else on this earth - no matter how amazing they are (like R), or would be (like our hypothetical children). 

Somehow reading that sort of thing on Facebook makes me sad anyhow though - I don't know why. Maybe because that's what so many people believe, and though ridiculous, many do look at the childless (and the single) as if they are less than. And frankly, that stinks! It outrages me for me and for my childless friends (whether childless by choice or not), and it outrages me for my single friends. 

The world likes to lie though. It reminds me of the times I've had people say - outright say right to me - that it's more tragic when someone with kids dies young or unexpectedly. Um. MORE tragic?  Yeah. Tell that to the people left behind. If I pass away before R, I'd highly recommend no one let R (or my mom or closest friends) hear that said of me - I can guarantee it won't go well. 

Sorry, do I sound angry?  See, this is what I mean - my thoughts are of no benefit to anyone. Are they thoughts or mere streams of consciousness? 

For my New Number 24, I went on a girlfriend vacation to Fort Lauderdale. By and large, it was lovely - full of friends, beach, warmth, sun, good food and drink, ocean water, and dancing barefoot with old ladies! Mmmm!! Loveliness!!

Even there though, my status as an "other" followed me. On the beach, relaxed and amused by a little one's antics (just silliness - he was quite well-behaved), his mom rolled her eyes to me and offered for me to take him.  Ahh yes, what tragedy to have this hilarious little guy, that you should offer him to a complete stranger. Yes, yes - she was joking, I know. Still, not cool! I'd have told her to be careful what she wishes for, but chose to just focus back on the ocean. Speaking wouldn't have mattered and I'm trying to choose grace. Being on the beach somehow makes choosing grace easier than the frozen tundra does. 

Another thing I saw around Facebook recently was about how motherhood is worth having one's body ruined. I want to scream: my body was ruined just TRYING to become a mother, yet I've nothing to show for it. I'd be glad to have "ruined" it for kiddies. Honestly, I'm okay with ruining it for the love of those we'll never have too. It was worth it for the effort. I just want to be heard sometimes, I guess - to be counted. Silly, yes - honest though. What good would this screaming do? None, yet what do I do with the unscreamed words? 

Add to all this another pregnancy announcement this weekend... I smiled and said the right things - and I truly am happy for these very young folks - they are good young folks. Still, when will my head stop screaming, even as I smile sweetly, "WHAT ABOUT US??  WHY NOT US TOO!!??" 

Why does almost everyone whose heart longs for motherhood get to be a mother, but not me? 

What does someone whose heart never forgets do with all of these scenarios and questions?  It serves no purpose to ask them, yet they are always with me. I'm learning to stop hating that they are with me though. They are honest. And though I think they'll never be answered, they do need to be faced.

No matter how much I try to move forward, these things always seem to make me stumble a bit. Still, they haven't been stopping me - so I suppose that is important to note. I just don't know where to keep them or what to do with them? It's like a junk drawer of sadness and anger. So I guess I keep writing and praying - despite my fear for the redundancy of my posts. I think only about three people read this anyhow, so to you three - thank you - and sorry I'm such a bore.

Well, life will always throw these curves and somehow I must not let them stop me from keeping on. "Somehow," meaning only through the grace of God - and all of the love that has been so greatly lavished upon me. 

Week 10 of Photo 52: Curves

Though a bit abstract, the curves in my photo above appealed to me because they seem hopeful and gentle curves - leading to a higher place.

Maybe that's what these other curves I've been writing about will feel like to me someday.

Perhaps one day I'll feel balanced on this precarious post I've landed on - instead of the sweetly smiling, head screaming nut job that I really am.

Week 11 of Photo 52: Balance

I do have faith that it will be so, because God alone makes me whole and He alone continues to do a good work in me - though I see it not. Maybe it's just over the curve.

With love,

HJ

Tiny shoes and grown up toes

For want of a nail, the kingdom was lost.

For want of tiny shoes on the threshold, the mighty will fall.

Ah, who am I kidding? No one thinks I'm mighty. Especially not me.

I won't dwell on this, nope - just an acknowledgement. An acknowledgement that was followed by another announcement... I used to think it would be us someday. Well, all there is to do is carry on. Keep on keepin' on.

Stupid little shoes.

Segues are so overrated. Hey, I'm going on vacation later this week. Maybe I can accomplish some NEW on my holiday. Maybe I can find a curvy photo, also... that's this coming week's photo theme. Sounds like a fun one, but unfortunately all my innards, particularly my brain, are frozen solid from too brutal a winter. Perhaps warmth will help me to see again.

My car accident last week, as a result of my complete inability to stop on the ice rink we call roads around here, and then standing in minus 10 temps on the side of the road, hoping other cars don't smash into us while we exchanged info, was the final straw for me...  I'm officially done with winter.

These toes are done with this nonsense, and so am I!

You can find my toes and me in Florida in a couple days.

And I'm not coming back until someone does something about this weather.

Cheers!

Silly me...

When I said in my last post that I was losing steam for new things, I forgot that I have a vacation coming up in about a week and a half! Now, vacation isn't new...  and I have been to Florida before...  hmm... but I'm still counting this as new because this is a girlfriends vacation!

Well, maybe I've sort of done that before too... but not with these friends...  and not to Florida... and not for this long...

Anyhow, I'm counting it and that's all there is to it!  So there!! ☺

What feels really new to me about it is that I'm trying to make the most of what I don't have. In case you haven't noticed, I'd really, really, really, really - REALLY - like to have a kid or two with my darling R. I can't - I don't get to live that. This is me making sure to keep living and finding adventures - and sure, being a butterball, as R says (i.e., basting in the sun). Doing this will not lessen the massive heartbreak or unfairness that is infertility, or any of the other losses in this fragile world, but... it will perhaps increase the loveliness that is life. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times: life is as beautiful as it is cruel. The cruel is largely unavoidable, so I'm all the more grateful for the beautiful.

One thing I'm worried about that is that people will start saying how I'm so lucky that I don't have kids, so I can go on so many fun vacations. Believe me, these things frequently get said to the childless. It's unbelievably crazy!!  If so, will I have grace under pressure to answer without being awful?  Frankly, I'm not sure. Hopefully so. (More hopefully so, perhaps no one will ever say that to me again!! Fingers crossed.)

In any case, it's a risk I'm willing to take for warmth and fun - and a little break - with my girlfriends.

Week 9 of Photo 52: Photographer's prerogative 

Anyhow, do you like my new hat?  I think it's pretty awesome!  It's very me, in any case. What a great find today - it's been a while since I really jived with a summer hat. Small joys.

Speaking of jiving, I really jive with our church, though I'm not involved at all. This is something I believe I need to do... get involved in it. In addition to being really solid teaching, they have amazing outreach opportunities into the community - opportunities to do good that really resonate with my faith. It's one of the things I love about the church.

This has to be one of my new things this year, or soon. I would like that, and just have to stop being so lazy and worried. Mostly worried. And a little lazy.

Lazy is self-explanatory - especially after working all day/all week. Worried might be less so. That's about getting involved in an environment where children are the norm. This is hard enough at work, but there's no choice there. Does that sound a strange worry? It's valid though. I'm not good with being childless - I'm so awkward. Yet I have to have some trust though too, trust in friends and coworkers, and trust in our church community.

So far, most (not all) of my NEW - my risks - have been fairly mild, but it will be time soon to take some of those bigger emotional risks.

In the meantime, this morning at church I ended up talking to a new couple. I could tell they were new. She was taking notes on the church itself - and really observing - so I figured they were looking for a new church home. This sort of had me wondering what to do - to try to talk with them, or not...  but I don't know much. We really just attend - and know no one there.  Plus, I'm really extroverted, but I'm so not good at initiating actual conversation with strangers - and not good at small talk. Not a strength!

Yet they were right in front of me, and after the service they turned around toward me to put on their coats. I at least wanted to make eye contact and smile - that is a strength of mine - but that's all I intended. However, her face told me that she wanted to talk, but was unsure about it - so I bit the bullet and did something I don't normally do - put out my hand and introduced myself. We chatted about 10 minutes or so... by then, the sanctuary was almost cleared out. It felt a bit awkward, but they seemed to be happy to talk with me about the church a bit - and other local churches. Hopefully I helped them feel a bit welcomed. I'll watch for them next week - and try to remember their names. (Unless they never come back because of the psycho girl who insisted on speaking to them when they just wanted to sneak out of church...hmm.)

Losing steam

It's true... my steam seems to be depleting. Not in a bad way - things are just real busy (mostly a good busy) and it's really wintery out... and it's been a particularly brutal winter (within and without)... and I just can't think of anything else new to do right now. Help!!

Of course I keep up with my photo 52 challenge though!  Week seven's theme was "ordinary." This was the first theme that I really didn't like at all. That's one out of 59 weeks of themes that I didn't like... pretty good!!

It's just me though... I have a hard time identifying things as ordinary. I'm frequently very excited over things most people would find quite ordinary, and that's fun. I regularly crack myself up over such ordinary things, which somehow translate in hilarious ways to me. And I've been known to wax philosophical at length about commonplace things like beans and rice, which I find quite beautiful. None of it seems ordinary.

Thing is, whenever I actually find myself thinking of things as ordinary, or have a blah sort of mindset, that means I'm off somehow - my enthusiasm is off, which isn't good. After all, this is one thing that, even through so many years of heartbreak, has kept me sane and engaged in life... finding amusement and/or joy in the most so-called ordinary of things.

So this theme was tough, but not in the beneficially challenging way of many other themes we do. You know though, that's okay. While it was noticeably strange to me to not feel at all engaged with it - to just wish I could skip over it to the next week - that is really to the great credit to the other 58 themes we've done! Besides, other people enjoyed it - so that is very cool!

Anyhow, here it is - my ordinary. In the end, I just needed a photo and just happened to have a glass of water on the table next to me - and the light was really nice, so I snapped and posted... and moved on to thrilling, which I already had taken.

Week 7 of Photo 52: Ordinary*

*Water and light and cool reflections are not actually ordinary, and that glass may look ordinary and scratched up, but it was a wedding gift and so totally not ordinary.

As for week eight... here it is - my beloved and talented nephew - thrilling!

Week 8 of Photo 52: Thrilling

What a cutie, right!? He's as sweet and funny as he is cute! Actually, he's getting to the age of probably preferring the word handsome. In unrelated news, I remembered earlier today how my friend Adam so vehemently objected to being called cute, "Cute is for puppy dogs and babies, I am not cute!" Of course, his objections made him all the cuter!

Anyhow, this past weekend, R and I traveled down to Milwaukee to do a show (R's business) and I got to spend time with family and friends. Big, big bonus - I got to see my nephew earn his High Brown Belt! It's the first time I got to watch either of my niblings actually perform in their activities - it was a thrill for me, and a thrill for my nephew to get his next belt. He's such a cool kid! I like this kid an awful lot!

Meanwhile, my beloved and talented niece was down in Kentucky for a dance competitions, so I didn't get to see her or sis-in-law. Hopefully I'll get to see niece perform one of these days too - she's quite the dance star!

By the way, I'm intentionally not commenting about how much I wish certain things could be different, though it's hard to refrain - especially after spending time with darling nibling that I'm so proud of! There's always a lot of bittersweet there. But does anyone care to hear such lamenting anymore? It's no one's fault that I can't have what I can't have, so why hash it over repeatedly.

Now just convince my head and heart of that.

Hmmmmm - by commenting about not commenting about it, I guess I just commented on it. Whoopsies!!

With love,
HJ

Breathtaking

After I took the photo of a candlelight in Central Park that I last wrote about, I kept wandering... and found my way over to the Cathedral Hill area. This breathtaking sight seems to have a strange gravitational pull for me ever since I came to the Twin Cities area. It was a hard transition up here, as transitions often are, and this became such a special symbol of hope for me. Every day I would drive past it as I headed down to work - my breath would always catch as that steeple came into sight... and I'd watch it - as if for dear life - as long as I safely could while driving down the highway.

Week 6 of Photo 52: Breathtaking

The days in which inclement weather kept it from my sight were so incredibly disappointing. I vividly remember the depth of disappointment I felt on one morning in particular, while reeling from the strong feeling that my move here wasn't going as intended - wondering if I'd made a huge mistake. Desperately, I wanted to see the steeple that morning - but it was nowhere in sight.

Suddenly, that still small voice within me reminded me that it was still there. Not being able to see something doesn't make it any less there. Even now, I'm reminded of this lesson each time I see the cathedral. It's a basic lesson, but a reminder that I frequently need in this crazy and fragile world. God is with me and always will be. Because of Him, those who've had to leave this temporary home are still with me too - and we will all be together again one day.

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1)

Isn't it amazing the abundant reminders of grace that we find when we just stop - to look and to listen. 

And hey, if we can photograph those reminders - all the better!  I was thrilled last week to finally be there at such a perfect moment of lighting - dusky enough to have the lights on and bring that glow about, but light enough to still photograph well - this lighting is gorgeous! To be honest, I'm quite pleased with how this came out - and it wasn't even planned... it was just a lovely finish to a day of wandering.  Breathtaking! 

When he looked back on the stars

This month's photographer's prerogative photo is in honor of my friend, Adam. 

I knew it would be about him, but I didn't know what I'd do. 

As I drove around and around after church the other day, listening to Rich Mullins and thinking about Adam, several thoughts came to mind - as well as a lot of tears. 

Then "Elijah" came on. 

But when I leave I want to go out like Elijah

With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire

And when I look back on the stars

It'll be like a candlelight in Central Park

And it won't break my heart to say goodbye

Even though it does break our hearts to say goodbye. 

Week 5 of Photo 52: Photographer's Prerogative

No matter how much he loves us, it couldn't break his heart to say goodbye - he's home now. 

Our world is darker for his absence, even though he never understood

 what a light in our world he was. 

At least it's only goodbye for now. 

How I hate goodbyes though. 

I'm a much bigger fan of hello!

I said hello to some newer friends in late January and got in a tasty number 22 NEW by trying a new sandwich that I'd have normally never tried, were I not seeking new.
It was good, and it was good to relax with friends after such a roller coaster of a month.

Then a week or so later, I said hello again to some very dear long time friends.

We were so recently together at Adam's funeral, but this was a happier occasion - a birthday girl! 

The birthday girl and I have known each other 30 years. 30 years!!  Can we possibly be old enough to have known each other 30 years?  I've known this scary guy just two years less than that. 

Crazy, isn't it.

Dinner was lovely, and it accomplished a NEW number 23, to boot.  

We did, of course, talk a lot about our dear friend - there was a lot more inappropriate laughter.

I'm so thankful for the blessing of friends - the new and the old. 

Those still here and those who've had to move on before us.

Truly, my friendship cup overfloweth with wonderful, loyal, talented, creative, kind, and hilarious friends - one even has excellent taste in German food. 

She came by it honestly. 

Winzer Stube in Hudson, WI is my New number 23. It's the birthday girl's favorite restaurant, ranked the fifth best German restaurant - in the country!  In little old Hudson, WI, no less - impressive, right!  

Anyhow, it's a new to me restaurant - and really a pretty uncharted cuisine for me.

I had the Paprikaschnitzel “Puszta”: 

Breaded pork cutlet topped with sour cream paprika sauce with bread dumplings and cabbage.

This photo doesn't do the deliciousness justice. 

Treat yourself - grab a friend and take a trip to Hudson!